its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
