I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
