It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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