I want to stick my p in your. b.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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