The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just found a bag of teeth...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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