i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I believe in your delicious
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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