how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
