Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had to cum in my sink.
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