We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
