too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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