so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
