I CAN MOONWALK!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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