so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
