but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
