But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I could make wine with my vomit
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
