My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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