i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
only you would photoshop your dick
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
