Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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