That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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