We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
