I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
