jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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