do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize