butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
