Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
