good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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