Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
