Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
