dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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