I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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