ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im holly from the hills drunk
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
