Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
