Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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