When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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