so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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