Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
zippers are such a cool invention
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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