his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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