Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Floor bacon is actually really good
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
