I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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