would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
