tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
