he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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