Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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