how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
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