now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
