well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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