all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
