So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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