I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
