I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
