batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
