bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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