genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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