6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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