I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
