My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
