this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
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I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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