your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes