Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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(502): so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked. http://tfl.nu/56pg

Replies (15) Good night (698) Bad night (4568)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

(636): View more from Missouri

anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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(702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56

Replies (32) Good night (8862) Bad night (1116)
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(626): View more from California

he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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(626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps

Replies (26) Good night (1568) Bad night (6007)
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(646): View more from New York

Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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(646): Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient http://tfl.nu/jyiu

Replies (29) Good night (1374) Bad night (5532)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.

(970): View more from Colorado

I am going to be fat forever.

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(970): I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer. (970): I am going to be fat forever. http://tfl.nu/3hpn

Replies (16) Good night (1552) Bad night (3311)
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(281): View more from Texas

It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night

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(281): It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night http://tfl.nu/xp13

Replies (9) Good night (951) Bad night (1198)
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(647): View more from Ontario

That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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(647): That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night. http://tfl.nu/q0pz

Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (566)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.

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(720): I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo. http://tfl.nu/cdzc

Replies (17) Good night (1473) Bad night (696)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

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(484): there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now. http://tfl.nu/o3be

Replies (12) Good night (871) Bad night (1722)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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(508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n

Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (1108)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here

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(615): you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here http://tfl.nu/rzkr

Replies (2) Good night (1197) Bad night (453)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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(270): Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad. http://tfl.nu/hoxr

Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (756)
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(518): View more from New York

If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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(518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl

Replies (8) Good night (960) Bad night (510)
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(209): View more from California

... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

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(209): ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/pw31

Replies (0) Good night (357) Bad night (655)
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(518): View more from New York

I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual

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(518): I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual http://tfl.nu/lllr

Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (314)

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