We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong