no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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