brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
