I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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