Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.