"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule