Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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