bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
