I wish I could punch you in the face.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
