10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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